Since being back home, I’ve been having vague plans for new travels. During the last few years of travelling, I was kind of trusting that the next opportunity would open up for me eventually. I sometimes struggled for various reasons, but there had been that deep down trust that there would also be another open door waiting for me. I didn’t have that trust before I started travelling. When I came to New Zealand, I felt I could blossom and enjoy many adventures despite a lot of fears and anxiety. It felt like anything was possible. I had worked a lot, saved up money and had managed to travel to the other side of the world by myself. This whole experience has given me so much more confidence – in me, in others, in this universe.
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.” – Georgia O’Keeffe
And so I went with the flow… stayed a year in New Zealand, working, travelling, meeting wonderful people. Even if I missed my family often, New Zealand is such a beautiful country that I didn’t want to leave. So when my visa expired, I decided to keep on travelling. Canada for seven months, Alaska for a little holiday, then two years in Australia with visits to Bali and Singapore. It just happened like that and I’m glad it did.
“We have a tendency to think in terms of doing and not in terms of being. We think that when we are not doing anything, we are wasting our time. But that is not true. Our time is first of all for us to be. To be what? To be alive, to be peaceful, to be joyful, to be loving. And that is what the world needs most.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
As I wrote in my previous post, being back home now makes me feel a bit lost. So I’m thinking why not travel in Europe? I have used up quite a bit of my savings and want to work for a while in a European city. Ireland is on top of my list. When I was 18, I spent a few months as an Au Pair in County Wicklow. Now I’m thinking maybe Cork , it’s just a feeling that draws me to that city. I would love to hear from people living or travelling in Ireland!
I’m not yet back in the flow of things. That’s the thing – I tend to overthink and let my mind take control. Then I forget to enjoy the moment, to be here and now (which is really the only time that exists, right? The future is basically just ideas and plans that might or might not happen) and start to stress and worry which leads to making forced decisions. So I’m trying to be gentle with myself, try to trust and not to hold on too tightly to any ideas, to do yoga, read and do things that are good for me. I had been planning to fly out a while ago, but I guess life has its own plans for everyone. I’ve been dealing with some health issues and trying to give myself time to heal. Another reason to take time to take care of myself and accept that I can’t always force things. This might sound selfish to some, but I think taking care of yourself will eventually help everyone. If I love myself, I can give more to others, be more patient and understanding.
“Remember that no amount of guilt can solve the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future” – Toby Mac
Besides that, I wanted to use the time to learn something new. I had thought about a blogging or a TEFL course for a while. I decided on the TEFL online course. It was really interesting and I enjoyed concentrating on a new task. I finished the course successfully – yay! Not sure if teaching is really what I want to do in the future, especially as a non-native English speaker, but at least there is a new option now and it was definitely worth learning about teaching a language and revising English basics. I can only recommend the course. If you are thinking about signing up for one and you aren’t sure yet, let me know. Happy to answer questions.
I’m at my sister’s and her wife’s place now, sitting in their cozy kitchen, watching the wind play with the leaves. It took me a while to get writing again, though every time I actually sit down with a cup of tea or coffee (by the way, where can you get a flat white in Europe? Is it just Germany that doesn’t have my fav cuppa :D?) and turn on the music, it feels good.
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” – Roy T. Bennett
Long story short, I’m still planning on moving to Ireland for a while. I am trying to work out my budget and planning the basics. Everything else will follow. I am going to take the first step soon – I know that often this is the hardest part. From there on, who knows? Anything could happen. I’m scared and excited to be on the road again soon. I do know that I want to take time to see and feel the beauty of this world.
“Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” ― Mary Oliver
Where would you like to travel to next? No matter where you are right now, I encourage you to enjoy the journey. To take a minute out of your busy day to look at the blue sky, to listen to the rain, to take care of yourself and be present. Breathe.